Bombs Away
See, He is Bored with Peace
Quote to Guide this Walk: Chinese Proverb: “When a mosquito lands on your testicles, you soon learn that violence is not always the answer.”
In Geneva, talks between the US and Iran ended without a deal – the negotiators say they will meet next week, long after Trump’s bombing deadline. The UN Security Council is to meet, but panic not – Melania will chair it (seriously). You may think this is part of the promotional work for her new movie, but no – this is the latest effort in her work on technology, hate, and children (ironic, isn’t it).
Meantime, Trump bombed key targets in Tehran and other military targets in Iran. Iran retaliated across the Middle East, bombing Tel Avia, Abu Dhabi and Dubai and US military basis in the region. The Board of Peace is silent and Trump has no legal authority for his attack.
Denmark’s Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen called an early election for March 24, betting a popularity boost from a standoff with Donald Trump over Greenland will help secure her another term in office. No doubt, Trump will impose a new 18% election tariff on the cheeky Mette.
Following a series of border skirmishes, Pakistan is now formally at war with the Taliban in Afghanistan (this is one of the 8 wars Trump claims to have stopped). We can expect escalation over the coming weeks. As well as the strikes inside Kabul and Kandahar, home to Taliban supreme leader Sheikh Haibatullah Akhundzada, there were also reports of further fighting along the 2,600-kilometre border, with numerous casualties on both sides. This will last a long time.
Sir Keir Starmer (sadly, still Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland) faced a tough by-election in the Manchester constituency of Gorton & Denton. The former MP had to quit due to sleaze, and the race became not only a straight fight between the ruling Labour Party, the surging Reform Party, and the sensible Green Party, but also a kind of “should Starmer stay or go” vote. In this traditionally safe Labour seat, the Greens’ Hannah Spencer (a plumber by trade) stormed to victory (40%), and Labour (25%) came third behind Reform (29%). The pressure on Starmer to quit mounts. Angela Rayner is on manoeuvres. Hannah Spencer has had to cancel some plumbing jobs she had lined up – she is off to flush out parliament.
One feature of the UK which surprises many is how many young people (15-29) are not in work, not seeking work and not in education (known as NEETs). The number of NEETs is fast approaching 1 million. This reflects the real state of the UK economy, and the impact AI is having on entry-level jobs. Here is the big surprise: despite our significantly smaller population, Canada’s NEET population is about the same – approaching 1 million.
Bill Clinton became the first former President to be grilled by Congress – we’re talking about the Trump-Epstein files again. Hillary was at it, too. Both are top-class lawyers and skilled speakers. Hilary wiped the floor with sound logic: she had never met Epstein, never been to his house, ranch, island or been invited to a party and knew nothing about this despicable and criminal behaviour. “So why am I here?”, she asked. And she told them why. It is all part of a cover-up – the theatre of the absurd. Bill was equally loquacious.
One of the “big” announcements on the State of the Union (The Forgettysburg Address) was retirement savings accounts (which most of the developed world has had for years). The legislation for these accounts was passed by Congress in 2022 and signed into law by Joe Biden. Trump claimed credit. He is lying.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex – aka MegArry – popped over to Jordan with the World Health Organization to support their humanitarian work in the country. They visited hospitals, refugee and staging camps, as well as key support facilities. They did not, however, meet any significant members of the Jordanian royal family – after all, Meghan & Harry are not “working royals,” as we can see.
The US Department of Defence wants more relaxed access to Claude – a Large Language AI Model – but Anthopic, which developed and maintains Claude, is denying it based on its two principles for military use: (a) no autonomous weapons and (b) no mass surveillance of Americans. If they stay firm on this (and they have), they might lose a $200M government contract. Good for them. The consequences have been immediate. Anthropic is being “banned” across the US Government and there is talking of legal action.
Netflix has dropped its bid for Warner Brothers Discovery. This means that Paramount (Larry and David Ellison, major MAGA Maniacs) as the last bid standing - $119 billion. MAGA Maniacs will soon have control of CNN.
From Andy Borowitz: Q: What happens to you if you’re a doctor in training who drops out of your surgical residency and never qualifies as a doctor? A: Donald Trump names you Surgeon General. Introducing Casey Means, who joins RFK Jr and Dr. Oz as the latest member of the Quack Pack.
When Anne Richards (Democrat) was Governor of Texas (1991-1995), Texas ranked 7th in US in education. When Republicans took control for the last 30 years, Texas now ranks 40th in education and 47th in reading. That’s what Republican’s do. Screw up.
Sports: Britain’s Katie Boulter is in the quarter finals of the women’s open tennis in Mérida, Mexico – she is up against world #1 Jasmine Paolini. Boulter lost. She is kind of the Sir Keir Starmer of tennis.
Soundtrack for this Walk: A new CD showcases Kalevi Aho’s 17th symphony. The symphonies of Kalevi Aho deserve sustained attention because they combine structural rigour with visceral immediacy in a way few contemporary composers achieve. Writing within the Nordic symphonic lineage after Sibelius, Aho treats the orchestra as a laboratory of psychological states: massive brass chorales fracture into chamber-like transparency; motoric rhythms dissolve into eerie stasis; tonality bends without collapsing into incoherence. His symphonies are not polite modernism but existential architectures - grappling with isolation, irony, grotesquerie, even dark humour - often through unconventional forces (including concerto-like roles for low instruments rarely foregrounded in the symphonic literature). For a listener attuned to large-scale form, Aho offers something rare: works that are intellectually constructed yet emotionally combustible, modern in idiom yet symphonic in ambition. Take a listen.
A Drink and a Book at the End of the Walk: For an evening with the symphonies of Kalevi Aho, a drink that matches their cool architecture and restrained intensity is the Arctic Nocturne: a precise, herbal cocktail built on aquavit and dry gin, stirred with a touch of vermouth and the faintest trace of elderflower liqueur, then sharpened with orange bitters and expressed lemon peel. The aquavit’s caraway bite evokes the Nordic landscape that shadows Aho’s symphonic imagination, while the gin and vermouth lend structural clarity - clean lines, transparent textures, disciplined form. The whisper of elderflower suggests lyricism without indulgence, a fleeting warmth within otherwise austere surroundings. Served ice-cold and finished with a discreet sprig of dill, the drink is bracing, elegant, and faintly enigmatic - a good companion to music. A recent non-fiction work that pairs well with the symphonies of Aho - and with the cool austerity of an Arctic Nocturne - is The Nordic Theory of Everything – In Search of a Better Life by Anu Partanen (2017, Harper). It is a thoughtful analysis of social design in Nordic countries and the United States. Partanen dissects how policies around healthcare, education, work–life balance, and social safety nets are grounded in principles of trust, universality, and structural coherence rather than market-driven fragmentation. Her argument emphasizes clarity in institutional logic and the deliberate alignment of individual well-being with collective frameworks - a kind of social architecture. This analytical lens resonates with the structural clarity found in Kalevi Aho’s symphonies, where rigorous form and systemic coherence shape expressive outcomes rooted in Nordic cultural logic. Having spent a fair bit of time in Norway and Finland (and several days in Iceland and Sweden), design is taken very seriously. Just visit any home or look at the design history of furniture from this region.
TV & Film: Signora Volpe returns for its third season, with Emilia Fox reprising her role as Sylvia Volpe. Now streaming on Acorn TV, the series once again unfolds against the scenic backdrop of Umbria, combining mystery with rich atmosphere. The new season presents three feature-length investigations, including a killing at a winery and a case that strikes closer to home for Sylvia.
Food: The meal, keeping with this Nordic theme, is a roasted Arctic char with mustard–dill sauce, baby buttered potatoes, and braised red cabbage with apple. It reflects Nordic design logic: clean lines, restrained ingredients, structural balance, and clarity of flavour. A lightly spiced cardamom–pear cake is ideal for Alberta in late winter or early spring - pears store well, and cardamom gives that unmistakable Scandinavian aromatic lift without heaviness. The cake should be modest in sweetness, more about fragrance and texture than sugar. Serve it slightly warm with a spoonful of skyr (or thick Icelandic-style yogurt) folded with a touch of vanilla and local honey.
A fish and chip shop run by two brothers in York has been named as Britain’s best - an award the owners said, “every chippy dreams of”. The Scrap Box in Dunnington scooped the 2026 Takeaway of the Year at the National Fish and Chip Awards, which co-owner Aman Dhesi said were the “Oscars of our industry”. Several other Yorkshire chip shops were in the final ten.
Quick Thoughts:
· Americans seem bemused by nations whose politicians, business leaders and others are arrested for breaking the law.
· It takes balls to golf the way I do.
· A man was admitted to the hospital with twenty plastic toy horses inserted into his rectum. Doctors say his condition is stable.
· By the time my dad was my age (75), he had around 45 jam jars full of different-sized nails and screws. I have none. I have clearly not led a full life.
· They say that every glass of wine you drink shortens your life by 5 minutes. I did the math. I died in 1875.
· How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Trump told everyone he’d fixed it. Now they stand around and cheer in the dark.
· Trump’s State of the Union has been entered for the Nobel Fiction Prize.
· Sarah Ferguson (66) is asking for a speaking fee of £150,000 for 45 minutes + 2 free first-class tickets to the venue and back to wherever she is hiding. Her debts must be massive. She is currently holed up in Ireland.
· A black man holding a sign “Black People Aren’t Apes” was ejected from the State of the Union address, but the man who depicted Black People as Apes gave the address.
· The State of the Union 2026 is being referred to as the Forgettysburg Address.
· Was “rub a dub dub, three men in a tub” the national anthem on Epstein Island?
· If you blow on your wine in a coffee mug during a Zoom call, others will think it is coffee or tea.
· I invented a new drinking game. I only drink when Trump tells the truth. I have been sober for years.
· I saw a post on Facebook: “Lonely man, 41, seeks wife.” There were 978 replies, all from men saying, “You can have mine!”
· It’s always struck me as odd. How did Jesus – a Jew living in the Galilee (Northern Israel) – find a group of followers called Peter, John, James, Matthew, Andre, Phillip, Thomas, Simon? No Moshe, Yaakov, Eli?
· My wife asked me if I had OCD. I said no, I have PSWIG. When she looked quizzical, I said “Put Stuff Where It Goes.”
· In fact, I have started holding workshops at home for people with OCD. When they leave, the place is spotless and tidy.
· Before the first sin, Adam and Eve were naked. Now we all have to do laundry.
· If Adam and Eve had been Chinese, they might have left the apple and eaten the snake.
· English is odd: “Give her her pen” (correct). “Give him him pen” (incorrect).
· My friend told me his beer mug can keep his beer cold for four hours. I was incredulous. What kind of mumpty takes four hours to drink a beer?
· My friend told me that onions are the only food that makes you cry. I proved him wrong when I bounced a coconut off his head.
· I saw my doctor today and finally showed her the rash on my private parts. She just ignored me and carried on shopping in Walmart with her sister.
· I just renamed my WIFI system “Police Surveillance Van 5” – should stop the neighbours hijacking it.
· Doctor: “Alcohol is killing you slowly.” Me: “Well that’s fine, I am in no hurry.” (An aside – then my doctor reminded me, “If you drink too much, it will Tequila”).
· Fun Fact: Christine Maxwell (sister to Ghislaine) founded a software company that is used across the FBI, CIA, NSA and other agencies for data mining especially large and complex files. Like the Trump-Epstein files. Her company also built the Amber Alert system. Irony.
· A woman was on trial for assaulting her husband with his guitars. The judge asked her: “First offender?” She thought for a moment and said, “No, first a Gibson and then the Fender.”
· When I die, I want to be cremated and have my ashes placed in an hour glass, so I can still take part in family games night.
· We watch lots of murder mystery and police procedural TV show. I came into the TV room to hear my wife say to the TV “No, don’t go into the church. Don’t go into the church!!” I asked her what she was watching. It was our wedding video.
· Trump didn’t recognize the Epstein victims at the State of the Union – he hadn’t seen them since they were 12, 13, and 14.
· Fact time: Pete Hegseth’s military accidentally shoots down its own $30 million drone in the latest huge screw-up by a Pentagon run by MAGA-Morons.
In the spirit of I’m Sorry, I Haven’t a Clue – the Antidote to Panel Games (on BBC Radio 4 for 54 years and still going): Film and TV titles which go well with breakfast:
· The Men Who Stare at Oats
· The Full English Patient
· From Rasher with Love’
· The Jam Busters
· Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit and Fibre
· A Touch of Frosties
· The Sound of Museli
· Toastbusters
· Much Ado About Muffins
· Allbran on the Western Front
· Meat, Joe, Black Pudding
· The Gruel Sea
· Mushroom with a View’
· The Bagel Has Landed
· Lox, Stock and Two Smoked Haddocks
· Shreddie the Eagle
· Salmon to Watch Over Me
· H.A.S.H
· Top of the Coco Pops
· A Sausage to India
· True Grits
· Catcher in the Ryvita
· The Lunch Pack of Notre Dame
· Marmite Mia
· Yogurt Mail
· Throw Marmite from the Train
· The Silence of the Hams
New Definitions:
· Viaduct – avoiding Mallards
· Conduct – a totally dishonest waterfowl
· Duct Tape – a recording of various ducks
· Ductile – a water-resistant floor covering for ducks
· Induct – how a Drake procreates
· Duck Billed Platypus – no credit or recognition at the pond for Antipodean animals
· Abduct – a very muscular duck
· Seduce – an overweight Italian dictator
· Induction – naughty, very naughty, very naughty indeed
· Misconduct – a gender specific dishonest waterfowl
· Product – a duck that’s been professionally photographed
· Reduce – to make a mallard smaller
· Deduct – to remove a duck from the pond roster
· Educe – to coax a shy duck out of hiding
· Transduct – to move waterfowl across a toll bridge
· Overduck – when a mallard goes too far in conversation
· Outduck – to outwit a particularly clever drake
· Preduct – a duck with strong opinions about the future
· Counterduck – the mallard working the deli section
· Aqueduct – a duck that really loves wate
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